For a father who is not very handy, assembling the children’s Christmas gifts can be a trying experience.

Once again it is Christmas,
That time of the year,
When a father, all thumbs,
Is trembling with fear.

The mother is cooking,
All through the day.
While Dad is assembling,
So the children can play.

And words very strong,
Through clenched teeth are hissing,
This blankety-blank,
The darn part is missing.

Oh, Santa, they love you,
Their stockings you filled,
But why don’t you learn,
These darn toys to build?

You bring them in pieces,
Parts A, B, and C,
They should go right together,
Just one, two, and three.

But the simple instructions,
For making them whole?
I’m afraid you forgot them,
They’re at the North Pole.

So, Santa, next year,
One gift for me bring,
Assembly instructions,
For each little thing.

Bill Pitt
December, 1974