I’ve been married to the same woman for 60 years, and we have two grown daughters and two granddaughters, so I’m all for equal rights for women. The lady in this poem, however, goes a little too far.

She doesn’t like Christmas,
She hates it, know why?
‘Cause everyone knows,
That Santa’s a guy.

She is a woman,
And Santa’s a man,
But she can do anything,
That a male can.

In this day and age,
A woman is free,
And she is a woman,
So Santa she’ll be.

No long flowing beard,
Or paunch will she wear,
Her figure is trim,
Her face without hair.

And all Santa’s helpers,
Look out for yourselves,
For you she’ll all fire,
She wants lady elves.

She’ll buy her a sleigh,
And eight female reindeer,
To women all over,
This change will give cheer.

She’ll be the driver,
A young, liberated chick,
And you’ll know in a moment,
That she must be Ms. Nick.

And you’ll hear her exclaim,
As she goes out of sight,
“Merry Christmas, all girls,
“We’ve won the long fight!”

Bill Pitt
December, 1974